When you think of “emotions” what comes to mind?
Do you think emotions are scary, uncontrollable, or uncomfortable? Some of you might be afraid of showing your emotions, thinking they are soft, weak, or even ugly. What about BEING emotional? How would you describe an emotional person? Do you think they are dramatic, sensitive, or unreasonable?
If you answered “YES” to any of those, you are not alone!
Unfortunately, so many athletes are afraid of emotions! Too dangerous, too unpredictable, definitely not worth their trouble. This thinking might be understandable since that is often how you experience your emotions! But it doesn’t have to be like that.
Emotions are POWERFUL. They are a huge part of what makes you HUMAN.
Humans – all of us – are emotional creatures. We all have emotions! What would be the opposite of emotional, if we didn’t have emotions, then what would we be? Emotion-less! What is the first thing you think of when you think emotionless? What is it? A robot! Ya, who wants to be a robot? NO ONE.
So, if you don’t want to be emotion-less, you have to embrace the fact that you have emotions. You are emotional.
I want to invite you to think about emotions differently.
Emotions are beautiful, not ugly.
Emotions make you strong, not weak.
Emotions drive all of your actions.
Emotions protect you.
Emotions help you make decisions.
Emotions help you understand other people.
Emotions help other people understand you.
Emotions help you communicate.
Emotions are the universal language of all people.
Emotions connect all of us.
Emotions have a primary role in creating memories.
Emotions make life meaningful.
So, YES, emotions matter! A lot. Your emotions are important. The more you understand your emotions, the less scary they become.
These next few weeks, you are going to learn:
What emotions really are and what their purpose is
How to think about emotions differently while expanding your emotional vocabulary
How to control and create your emotions
Having a healthy relationship with your emotions is a Game Changer! Embracing your emotions will allow you to get out of your head and play your best – while increasing your confidence!
Are you ready to take your emotional game to the next level?
Download the worksheet and join me in the next video.
Today, you’re going to get to know your emotions. Emotions are feelings, and feelings are meant to be FELT!
To FEEL is to activate your capacity to be touched, moved, and changed by events, nature and people in your life.
Athletes who have a healthy relationship with their emotions are touched by what happens to them and to others. They are impacted by events. They feel deeply and they SHOW it.
Feelings help you develop character, depth, and compassion.
Thoughts are the language of the mind and feelings are the language of the body.
Your feelings are how your body communicates with you. YOU – who you really are, your highest self, or your soul – are not your feelings! Just as YOU are not your body. If your hand got cut off, you would still be the same person! You are more than your feelings and more than just your body. They are part of you but they are not YOU. The way your body is able to communicate with you is quite fascinating.
Did you know that you actually have three brains? The same neurons that are found in your actual brain are also found in large concentrations in your heart, which is called your “heart brain,” and these same neurons are also found in your stomach, which is often referred to as your “second brain.”
While your stomach and heart can’t create conscious thought, they play a significant role in your life by sending important signals to and from your brain and are primary locations for where your emotions are felt.
Emotions are created by thoughts and beliefs.
Your thoughts and beliefs are triggered when something happens in your life.
This usually happens so fast you are not even aware of it!
For example, if your coach yells at you, and you think “she is mad at me,” you might feel sad, intimidated, or even angry! Different people feel different emotions when they get yelled at, because they have different thoughts.
You think a thought, and your brain releases a chemical that vibrates through your body as an emotion.
Some emotions feel pleasant, others feel unpleasant.
They are all just vibrations in your body.
Emotions actually only take 90 seconds to process through your body!
It only takes longer than this when you keep thinking a thought that triggers another release of emotion, or when you don’t actually process your emotions.
What do emotions FEEL like?
Well, every emotion feels a little different. The important thing is for you to know how YOUR emotions feel in your body.
One important distinction is between physical sensations and emotional sensations.
A sensation is anything you feel or perceive through your senses (touch/feel, hear, taste, see, smell). They can be internal or external.
Physical sensations start in your body and got to your brain. For example, rolling your ankle. Your brain can then intensify the pain or lessen the pain, depending on how you interpret the situation. If it is season ending you might feel devastated. If it is just a mild tweak, you might feel annoyed. Everyone has different pain tolerance levels to physical sensations, and physical sensations can be painful or pleasurable.
Emotional sensations are sensations start in the brain and are felt in the body. They can feel similar to physical sensations, but they are caused by an emotion. Emotional sensations can also feel painful or pleasurable.
So, your first practice this week is to notice the sensations you experience every day!
Intentionally create time to notice and describe sensations.
You can do this when you brush your teeth or wash your hands!
To do this, really feel the temperature of the water, the texture of the soap or toothpaste, and describe it in detail.
Use your worksheet to help you with this.
Another important practice is to start separating YOU from your feelings.
You FEEL happy or FEEL sad.
You are not “happy” or “sad” – you are YOU.
This might seem like a small thing, but it is BIG! You must separate yourself from your emotions
Emotions want to come and they want to go, they are temporary – not permanent!
So instead of saying “I have anxiety” or “I am anxious,” I want to invite you to start saying “I’m feeling anxious.”
Do you see the difference?
So, your second practice is going to be linking how emotions feel in your body.
Start by naming the emotion you feel by saying “I feel ______.” Then, describe how your body actually FEELS.
Something that can be helpful is to imagine your emotions are like dogs.
If you had a dog named Anger and a dog named Fear, what would they be like?
What color would they be?
What posture would they have?
What sounds would they make?
What temperature would they be?
What body parts would be affected the most?
For Anger, I see a red dog with bared teeth barking loudly and fiercely. He is sweaty and hot and might bite with his mouth!
For Fear, I see a black dog, hiding behind my leg, body trembling, heart racing, shallow breathing, his ears back, his body tense, his hair standing on end.
Those are things I would notice about my dog Anger and my dog Fear.
So I want you to do the same for your emotions! Notice how they show up in your body.
To do this, start with doing a BODY SCAN.
Whenever you are connecting with your body, putting one hand on your heart and the other on your belly button really helps, so do that now, close your eyes, and focus on breathing in and out while noticing how your body feels, starting with your head.
How does your head feel? Is there any pressure? Buzzing? Noise?
Then, move down to your eyes, cheeks, mouth, neck, throat, shoulder, chest, stomach – all the way down to your feet! For each location, use adjectives to describe your feelings – does your heart feel open or closed? Beating fast or slow? Are your cheeks hot or cold? Are your palms sweaty or dry? Does your stomach feel hard or soft? Tight or relaxed? Empty or full? Do your feet feel grounded and firm or clumsy and slow?
It is that simple! Think you can do it? Let’s practice.
Use you worksheet if you can and write down three emotions you experience most often when you aren’t playing your best. You can use the feelings wheel if you need help identifying your emotions, but pick your three most common emotions.
For each one, I want you to imagine a time when you felt that emotion – maybe it was feeling nervous before your game, or feeling sad after a mistake – but go to that place in your mind and describe how this emotion feels. Do this for all three emotions.
Next, I want you to choose three emotions you WANT to feel when you play. Do you want to feel confident? Energized? Focused? What three emotions will help you play your best? If you don’t know what emotions help you play better, it is time to figure it out!
Write them down and describe how they feel.
This week, your job is to increase your awareness around your emotions.
Are you feeling anxious or is it excitement?
Can you expand your capacity for emotions?
How many emotions can you feel in a day?
Embrace your emotions this week!
Notice the physical and emotional sensations your body feels.
Name and describe your emotions in detail.
When you ARE playing your best, what do you notice that is different about your body?
When you are NOT playing your best, how does your body FEEL?
What sensations do you experience at PRACTICE?What about before/during/after competition?
Remember, YOU are NOT your FEELINGS!
Your feelings are meant to be felt! So feel all your feelings this week.
Go be a Game Changer!
HUMAN: a human being subject to death, often contrasted with a divine being.
Humans are pretty cool. Think about all the things humans can do that other creatures on this earth CAN’T do. As humans, we have lots of things in common with other animals, but the main difference is how much more complex we as humans are that any other animal!
Here are just a few things that separate you from the animal kingdom:
You have an amazing brain – truly one of a kind (and your brain isn’t fully developed until your about 25 years old).
You have thoughts and feelings.
You can think both abstractly and concretely.
You have the ability to analyze yourself.
You can time-travel mentally (past, present, future).
You have an imagination.
You have morals and values.
You need other humans to survive.
I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty glad I’m a human and not a rock or a tree or a bird.
But sometimes because humans are so awesome, we forget that part of the deal is that we are mortal, not invincible, and that there are universal laws that govern our lives, such as the Law of Gravity, or the Law of Cause and Effect.
Another important law is the Law of Polarity – have you heard of this one?
It states that for anything to exist, there has to be an equal and exact opposite.
Black and white. Up and down. Back and front. Right and Wrong.
This is important because EVERYTHING is known through its opposite.
That means that you know joy only because you have felt sadness.
You can experience pleasure only because you know pain.
Think about it, if you could feel happy all of the time, would you want to?
At first glance you might say YES! But after some more thought, do you really want to be happy at a funeral when someone you love dies? Or when a tornado kills hundreds of people? Do you really want to be happy all of the time?
Of course not.
Because without pain, there is no pleasure. Without sadness, no joy. Without disappointment, no fulfillment.
You literally wouldn’t know the emotions that feel good without the emotions that feel bad.
This is the Law of Polarity. It is part of being a human.
Life is 50/50. Meaning, if 50% of the time you feel positive emotion and 50% of the time you feel negative emotion, you are exactly where you need to be!
Just because something feels bad, doesn’t mean it is bad. The opposite is also true – just because something feels good doesn’t mean it is good.
As a quick example, how does it feel to run sprints? Your lungs might start burning, your legs might start cramping, you might start sweating. It doesn’t FEEL good. Does that mean you shouldn’t run sprints? NO! Because if you keep doing it enough, your body will adjust. You’ll run faster and longer before feeling the same amount of pain. Even though it is uncomfortable in the moment, it is necessary to help you become a better athlete!
Now, what if you eat ice cream every day because it tastes good? Does that mean you should do it because it feels good in the moment? NO! Not if you want to be a better athlete that is.
Your emotions work the same way.
Emotions are not moral – they aren’t right or wrong. They are all part of the human experience that makes life rich.
Instead of thinking of emotions as good or bad, I want to invite you to think about them as gifts.
Emotions are always trying to help in some way.They allow you to communicate with your body and visa versa. They want to serve you!
Your emotions are like a smoke detector. Just like a smoke detector in your house, you might not like the sound of the alarm, but you can be grateful it made you aware of the fire! Emotions can guide you to hidden thoughts and beliefs you have that are holding you back.
But, to allow them to do that you first must stop judging your emotions as being good or bad, or thinking that some emotions shouldn’t be expressed, or that they are too scary and can’t be handled. This is all FALSE!
Today, we are going to take a look at what emotions you don’t want to feel and WHY. Hopefully, you will also be able to see what happens when you are unwilling to feel certain emotions!
Are you ready?
Whenever an unwanted emotion starts to show up, how do you treat it? Unwanted emotions are ones that you think are painful or uncomfortable.
Do you AVOID it?
When you choose to avoid your pain and pretend it isn’t there, you are essentially lying to yourself. This never works long term and only causes the pain to fester. When you avoid an emotion, you might find yourself distracted with things to take your mind off of how you really feel (Netflix, social media, music, shopping, eating, change the subject, etc.).
What is an emotion you try to pretend you don’t feel? Maybe you pretend to not feel hurt when someone says something rude or mean. The truth is, it still hurts! Avoiding it just makes it worse. Maybe you want to avoid feeling disappointed after you lose a game. To not feel disappointed, you also have to avoid believing in yourself. Is that what you really want?
Do you RESIST it?
Resisting an emotion is when you actively fight against it. This usually happens when you can’t avoid an emotion. You might look calm and cool on the surface, but there is a war going on inside. Have you ever gone swimming and held a beachball beneath the water? What happens? Well, its difficult to do because the ball doesn’t want to stay under the water! Without you holding it down, it will pop out. Eventually, it always does! You can only resist an emotion for so long. Eventually, it will express itself, usually in a forceful way! Which is why RESISTING emotions usually leads to…REACTING.
What is an emotion you resist? This could be when you have a disagreement with a friend, and try to act like it is not a big deal, but still talk about your friend behind their back or to other people. It affects your relationship with them. Often, the emotion being resisted is sadness. Resisting can then come out is passive – aggressive ways, or in a bigger reaction.
Do you REACT to it?
When you react from negative emotion, you almost always get a negative result. It is usually uncontrolled and unthoughtful. Often, it is impulsive and intense! Reacting to an emotion is usually because you have built up so much resentment that one small thing can be the straw that broke the camels back. If you are feeling resentful towards a friends, one comment they make that would usually not upset you can cause a relationship ending fight. Reacting is discharging your emotion. It gets rid of it without truly feeling it. Reacting is almost always destructive and does damage in the process.
What is an emotion you tend to act out or react to? A very common emotion is anger. When is a time you reacted to an emotion? What do you think caused you to react?
This week, I want to encourage you to embrace being a human by being open and willing to feel painful or uncomfortable emotions. The sooner you can stop judging them, the better you will feel about them!
Here are some emotions that are considered by most to be painful:
Sad, anger, hurt, guilt, loneliness, failure, disappointment, ashamed, embarrassed
Here are some emotions that are considered by most to be uncomfortable:
Commitment, growth, new, uncertain, wrong, nervous, weak, insecure, isolation, positive emotions for long periods of time.
So, use your worksheets and create some awareness for your thoughts about painful or unwanted emotions. Continue to practice naming these emotions and describing how they feel this week!
Remember, your emotional range for feeling both emotions that feel good and that feel painful is the same.
Your emotions are like a pipeline, only this pipeline doesn’t have offshoots. When you repress one emotion, you repress all of your emotions. Want to turn off anger? That means you turn off happiness too.
Again, no emotion is bad, and no emotion is good. They are all simply emotions that occur naturally in each of us. When we start to honor each of these feelings, we can start to learn what our emotions have to teach us.
Your feeling are meant to be felt! Embrace all of the wonderful emotions that make you human.
Because this is a game changer!
Emotions want to be EXPRESSED. However, they can only be expressed to the extent that you feel SAFE.
This is true for both positive and negative feeling emotions.
Truly feeling your feelings is the goal. When you can stop avoiding, resisting, and reacting to your emotions, you will feel so much better!
It is a huge relief when you learn how to welcome big emotions and still be in charge of your response to what caused them.
Being willing to feel any emotion, to let any emotion be in your body without fighting it allows it to process through your body so it can run its course. By fully allowing your emotion to be in your body, you can also receive the gift, the message, it is trying to deliver!
Are you ready to learn how to make any feeling feel safe?
First, you need to know that you will not feel safe whenever there is a threat present.
A threat is determined by your brain with how you interpret something. If you are walking down the street at night and see a shadow dart across the road and behind a tree, your brain might tell you to run the opposite direction FAST or it might tell you to go chase the deer out of your neighbors yard.
This would be an example of a physical threat. Emotional threats are just as powerful – if not more powerful – than physical threats!
An emotional threat is whenever judgement or criticism is present or punishment is expected. It can be external or internal, meaning it doesn’t matter if someone actually says something critical to you, or if you just think they might, it is the same. If you think you will be punished by losing a friend, that would also be perceived as a threat. If you criticize yourself or judge yourself for how you feel, that will also prevent you from embracing and expressing your emotions.
So, there is actually a very simple process for being with your emotions! But you do have to be intentional about following the steps. As you practice, you might find different things that work for you to fully support yourself and all the emotions you get to experience as a human being.
Safety can be created with the 5 A’s:
These are the components of caring and understanding.
To feel your feelings, the first thing you must do is give your self ATTENTION. Decide to recognize you are having a human experience and are willing to feel this emotion and allow it to happen. ADMIT that there is an emotion present.
1. IDENTIFY what emotion you are feeling by saying, “I feel ________. This is ________.”
Pick one word for the emotion. While you do this, you can show yourself AFFECTION by:
2. Placing one hand on your HEART and the other on your BELLY.
While tenderly showing yourself affection, APPRECIATE & ACKNOWLEDGE yourself and the emotion you are feeling. Thank yourself for being willing to feel this emotion. Acknowledge that it is hard and unpleasant. Give yourself words of comfort. You can do this in your mind, but it is especially helpful to do out loud. Saying, “I see you. I’m here for you. This is hard. This hurts. Thank you for staying.”
Next, focus on your body by:
3. BREATHING – take deep belly breaths while doing a BODY SCAN.
Go head to toe and notice how your body feels – name and describe the sensations this emotion is creating in your body. Once you are ready, you can:
4. Get CURIOUS
This emotion is caused by something you think and believe. If you ALLOW the emotion to be in your body, it will lead you to the source – which is a thought you are having. As you breathe, notice the thoughts you are having. Ask yourself, “What message does this emotion have for me? What am I thinking and believing?”
The next step is to:
5. Get CONFIDENT
You really can handle any emotion. If you look outside of yourself, you will surely find someone who has dealt with any situation or emotion you are experiencing. If you look within yourself, you will find the strength to go on. Talk kindly to yourself. Reassure yourself that you can handle this emotion. Then, you get to DECIDE:
6. Get CREATIVE
What would be another way to look at the situation? Has there be a misunderstanding or misinterpretation? Do you need something clarified? Is there a question you could ask or a conversation you could have that would be helpful? How can you honor yourself and express yourself in a loving way? Finally:
7. TAKE ACTION
You must act so that you are not stopped or driven by your painful emotions – primarily FEAR. What is one thing you can do RIGHT AWAY to show yourself that you are in charge?
The more you are able to feel your feelings, the more you will be YOU.
You can be who you really are.
You can act spontaneously.
You can freely express your emotions.
You will begin to notice that you like what you spontaneously say an do.
You will be proud of your honesty. That you are no longer just trying to look good or be accepted.
Your feelings are powerful.
To stay with your emotions with no attempt to change, fix, or reduce them honors them and allows you to connect with your highest self.
Your feelings are your truth. To hide them in yourself or run from them in others is to fail to face the truth of what will set you free. Honor the feelings that are appropriate to your experience.
This week, I want to invite you to practice feeling your emotions fully. Doing this will allow you to have access to the thoughts and beliefs you currently have.
Those thoughts and beliefs are going to be our focus for the next phase of this program, so gain some awareness this week to keep the momentum going!
Remember, your emotions want to be expressed. It is a normal human response to feel emotion. Get to know yourself by getting to know your feelings! This is a game changer!
RECIPE: something that is likely to lead to a particular outcome
Emotions can be unpredictable and a little bit complex. But, when you understand how emotions are created, then you can take charge over the things you DO have control over so you can create the emotions you want more often.
I want to remind you that there are no “good” emotions and there are no “bad” emotions!
All emotions are part of the human experience, and are necessary for your growth and development. There is no emotion that you cannot handle!
Some emotions are more useful than others in different situations, just like different foods are more useful than others in different situations. If you are celebrating a birthday, you might want to have cake and ice cream. If it is game day, you might want to have water and a sandwich. The same ingredients it takes to make chocolate cake will not work if you want to make a sandwich.
This is true for your emotions also! Every emotion requires certain ingredients.
The recipe for emotions comes in three parts.
Once you know the recipe – the formula for creating and emotion, you can take charge of your emotional state!
So, do you want to know how to create any emotion?
Another way you can think of this is like casting spells.
Have you seen Harry Potter? How does he cast spells?
Well, first he has to hold his wand in a particular position, and make a certain gesture with that wand. There is also an element of proximity that is important. The further away the spell caster is, the more difficult it is to cast a spell. To cast a spell without a want, there must be an instrument to channel the magic through.
Next, the spell caster then has to say certain words – out loud or in his head (in his head is much more difficult and less effective than out loud).
Third, he has to focus and concentrate so that he has full power to cast the spell!
There is a reason Harry Potter is so popular!
Did you know that you cast spells every single day? You just don’t know you’re doing it. The spells you cast create your emotions in a very similar way.
Did you know that 55% of all communication is non-verbal? I encourage you to watch the BONUS video in this section so you can really grasp how important this one things is. Your body is always communicating, whether your are aware of it or not. Your physiology is how you communicate with people of all ages and cultures. Babies are masters at non-verbal communication. It is the only way they can communicate! Since we all started off as babies, this is the language we know best – even if it is subconscious.
Your physiology includes things like: your posture, gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, your breathing, your scent, proximity (how close you are), and physical touch.
Will you do a quick exercise with me?
If I had a person sitting behind a curtain, and you would win $1,000,000 if you could describe their physiology to me for a particular emotion, could you do it?
What would a depressed person LOOK like? What would their physiology be like?
What would an ANGRY person LOOK like? How about an EXCITED person?
Did you do it? Would you have won $1,000,000? Most of you would have! So it is unfortunate for you that I don’t actually have $1,000,000.
Can you see how important your physical body is for creating an emotion? A person feeling CONFIDENT will never look like a person feeling DEPRESSED. You can’t feel confident when your head is down, your shoulders are slumped, and your eyes are staring down. It’s simply not possible.
So, in what ways is YOUR physiology preventing you from feeling CONFIDENT?
You must OWN your physiology! That means, you are in charge of your BODY. You must know what you are communicating with your non-verbals.
Write down one way you can up level your physiology and share it in the Success Club!
The second ingredient is your language! Words are important! They MATTER! Your language includes the actual words you say as well as the TONE you use when you say them, and the meaning you lace them with.
Your intent and tone are just as important as the actual words you say.
The words you attach to an experience actually BECOME your experience!
You and your best friend could go to Disney Land, and one of you could say it was miserable it and the other person might say it was magical. What is the difference? One word.
It is so important to choose your words carefully, both the words you say to yourself in your head, and the words you say out loud.
What happens when you go to practice and say “I’m so tired.” Have you ever had a teammate that is always tired at practice? Simply saying the words out loud starts to cast the “tired” spell, not just on the person who said the words, but also on those that hear them. If you aren’t aware that a spell has been cast, then you might fall under its influence, too.
So BE AWARE! The language you use influences the intensity of an emotion AND helps you create memories.
WRITE IT DOWN:
What are 3 words you use to describe yourself often?
What are 3 words you say that cast DARK spells?
What are 3 words you say that cast LIGHT spells?
The final ingredient for creating an emotion is FOCUS. Whatever you focus on gains more power!
Think of your focus like a laser. The smaller and simpler your focus is, the more powerful it becomes.
Focus starts in your mind. You can focus on the past, the present, or the future. When you are dwelling on a mistake, where is you focus? Right, the past. When you are focused on the outcome, where is your focus? Ya, the future. Both can be a problem because you can only act in the present.
To feel confident, your focus must be in the present moment.
You can also choose to focus on things you CAN control or things you CAN’T control.
What are some things you CAN’T control? Other people, what they say and do. If you win or lose. You can influence these things, but you cannot control them.
What are things you CAN control? Yourself.
Finally, you can direct your focus to what you HAVE – the ways you are capable, blessed, grateful – or to what you DON’T HAVE – on what is missing, or lacking, or not enough.
So, how do you create an emotion? With your physiology, your language, and your focus.
A change in one of these influences all three. A DRASTIC change in all of these is a game changer!
PEAK STATE vs DRAIN STATE
I’ve created a simple acronym for you to help you stay in a PEAK state – which is a confident friendly state where you will play your best more often – and avoid going down the DRAIN – which is the state where you doubt yourself and play poorly.
In a PEAK state, the P stand for powerful posture. Stand a little taller, and use strong gestures.
The E is for EXPAND – this includes you body and your mind. Expand you body by taking up more space and being creative. Expand your mind by exploring ideas and trying new possibilities.
A is for always breathe – not your normal breathing (thats a given), this is for intentionally taking deep belly breaths to control your nervous system. This is HUGE!
Finally, the K is for keep going. Keep trying, keep believing in yourself NO MATTER WHAT!
When you start to go down the DRAIN, certain things start happening.
You might DWELL on a mistake, past play, or something someone said or did.
Your body will start to SHRINK – you will literally start playing small and will take up less space (trying to get out of the way, apologizing) instead of owning your space.
When doing down the drain, BLAME always shows up, and in sneaky ways! You either start blaming yourself, or start blaming someone else (your teammates, coaches, parents, the gym, the fans, you name it).
Another thing that might happen is you start to HESITATE. This is when a ball will drop between two people, or you want to take a shot but you hesitate just one second too long, and then the damage is done. The moment passes, and the drain starts to spiral.
Finally, another way you can notice that you are no longer in a PEAK state is when you start to feel TENSE. It might start in your shoulders or in your neck, but any time you feel tense and rigid, you cannot be in a PEAK state.
This week, start noticing what spells you are casting.
How do you cast DOUBT, ANGER, or FRUSTRATION?
What does it take to cast CONFIDENCE, EXCITEMENT, or HAPPINESS?
One final note. Really knowing what ingredients you are using is key. You can’t pretend to be focused on the present, or pretend you aren’t dwelling on a mistake, or use critical and judgemental language and try to say you have baked a chocolate cake. It is a garbage cake, and no amount of smiling or pretend positivity will make up for trashy ingredients. You can’t fake your feelings, or express an emotion that isn’t real for long! Especially not to yourself. You know when it isn’t real.
Real emotions require real ingredients. Knowing what ingredients you are using is key. Don’t try and fool yourself!
Remember, drastically changing your physiology, your language, or you focus is a game changer!